This was no longer a situation that I could walk away from it wasn’t going to blow over. We said I love you after less than three weeks. I couldn’t, and frankly I got to the point where I didn’t want to it was terrifying and I was losing control. That part sucked, but I kept convincing myself that this little adventure of mine would blow over and things would go back to normal. We took advantage of every moment we could together, sneaking around, tweaking stories, lying to our spouses. I felt guilty when I got home and got into bed with my husband, who was sound asleep, but at the same time I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened and how nervous and excited I was to start the next day.įrom there, things moved so quickly. I’m sure it can be assumed by now that I said yes, and with a beer in each of our hands he leaned over the table and kissed me for the first time. I offered him a ride home after a long day of offsite meetings, and he asked me out for a drink before I dropped him off. We were both married, he was eight years older and much more senior than me. Despite the initial attraction, I left it at that. Handsome, Spanish and with a cute accent. The cube behind me was empty for my first week, and I didn’t have time to think much of it. I didn’t know when I walked into that big new office building to start the next phase of my life that it would be the beginning of the end of my marriage. More money, more opportunities: the perfect next step for our second year of marriage. So when we both got new jobs in September 2015, we thought we were getting towards our goals. Traveling the world, having kids, buying a house – the usual. Like most young married couples, we had big plans, and we encouraged each other to work hard so we could make it all happen. For someone who didn’t have much relationship experience before we met, I was very confident in what we had. We fell in love at 22, got engaged at 25 and were married at 26. After six amazing years together – full of memories, love and respect – it was over in the blink of an eye. He fought hard, but I had already made up my mind, and never really gave him a chance to try. What surprised me about that night and the following days was that he fought for me. Instead, I dug myself deeper into a hole as I attempted to cover my tracks. I blindsided him and all I could do in that moment was backpedal to try and make the situation easier to digest. He had to see how many times I said “I love you” and read about the future my lover and I were planning together. He found five weeks’ worth of lurid text messages and pages upon pages of emails about my affair, detailing all the lies I had told. Instead it was a sloppy mess and one of the worst days of my life.
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